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Taken From: http://www.redneck-humor.com/joke/affordable-home-security
Affordable Home Security
How to install an affordable home security system...
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14 Work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns and Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a giant dog dish next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door:
"Hey Bubba - Big Mike and I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the Pit bulls. Better wait outside. They attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up pretty bad. I locked all four of them in the house."
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